


Momento Mori

by Rae666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae666/pseuds/Rae666
Summary: Everyone has a book, but only Death can read them. Unless you're a certain Dean Winchester. Spoilers for season 15.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Momento Mori

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: Everyone has a book, but only Death can read them. Unless you're a certain Dean Winchester. Spoilers for season 15.
> 
> Spoilers for season 15, episode 17.
> 
> Notes: The latest episode left me feeling very wounded and somewhat betrayed, BUT, along with next week's trailer – it did give me an idea. This started as a one shot but I think it's now more of a teaser for an upcoming story.
> 
> My other story, Fractured, is still being written and will be completed, but I had to get this out and up. And once my other fic is complete, I will come back to add more to this.

-6-6-6-

The new day had dawned, and though the sun had risen, chasing away the shadows of the night, darkness still lingered in the bunker. It hung in the air, like a thick blanket, smothering them, weighing down on them. A bleak reminder of all that had happened, and all that would happen.

Sam rubbed absently at his aching shoulder as he sat at the main table in the library, his gaze on the books spread out in front of him. He tried to focus his eyes, but the words had long since started to blur. He had no idea how long he had been sat there, but he was very much aware of how it hadn't gotten them anywhere. They were still no closer to figuring anything out.

When he heard the determined and heavy footsteps from down the hallway off to the side, he was almost thankful for the oncoming distraction. It wasn't until Dean was at the table, dropping the book he had been holding down onto it with a heavy thud, that Sam pushed back in his seat and let out a lengthy, very exhausted, breath.

"What the hell, Sam?" the elder questioned, or rather – demanded, hands splayed out to the side as he looked at Sam with raised eyebrows. There was still so much anger there, bubbling just beneath the surface. So much anger, and nowhere to direct it.

But Sam cleared his throat and pushed away his ponderings on Dean and his internalised rage, and looked to the book instead, almost taken aback at the sight of it. "Yeah, it's the book I… er, stole from Death's library. It's-"

But the word 'empty' faded away as Dean interrupted, filling in the blank with his own thoughts.

"Chuck's death book, I know." At that, Dean seemed to collapse in on himself a little, if only for a fraction of a moment. Hands placed flat on the table, either side of the book, he leaned over it, his back arched and head down, muscles tense. But then, his fingers were curling, hands forming fists against the wood. "How could I be so stupid?"

"Dean, we didn't know –"

"No, don't give me that crap. You did. You knew something wasn't right. But me, I was so determined to _end_ Chuck. To finally free us from his 'story' that I couldn't see I was still just some character in another goddamn book." He pushed up and away from the table to pace back and forth.

Sam shook his head, even though he knew Dean was too lost in his own self-hatred to see Sam's motions. Hell, Sam would be surprised if his words even made it through the red haze Dean was under. "She played you, Dean. She played _us_. She knew what buttons to push and she went with it."

"Is anything real, Sam? I mean you – you doubted. You broke from the pattern. But I did exactly what she wanted. I… Jack chose to be the bomb because of me, Sam. He wanted my forgiveness. That's why he did it. And I let him. Just like she wanted me too. I pushed him away, and I let him."

"Dean, you don't know that. You don't."

Dean scoffed, returning to the table to flip the book open. "It's all in the book, Sam. All of it."

"The book?" Sam's eyes fell to the book once more, his brow burrowing. "Dean-"

"I was reading through it and-"

"You were reading… the book?" Sam interrupted, his head tilted as he looked at Dean and pointed at the book. "This book, right here?"

"Okay, so I was only checking the highlights. But still, it's all there."

"This book, Dean?" Sam reiterated yet again, sitting up a little straighter. "Chuck's death book?"

"Yes, Sam. I was reading, because I know I don't exactly do it much, but it kind of seemed important, you know?"

Sam pulled the book toward him, pushing the others away, and flipped through the empty pages, scouring each one. "Dean, that's not possible."

"What? That I can read?"

"That you can read this book."

Dean dragged the chair closest out and dropped himself onto it, leaning back as he considered Sam. "What? Did I overstep some nerd boundary or something? Some rule of Sam I didn't know about?"

Swallowing hard, Sam stopped in his flipping and held the book open, turning it in his grasp so the empty pages were facing Dean. "What do you see, Dean?"

"I see an asshat holding a book."

"On the pages."

"Words. Lots of words and names and pointless stuff that doesn't even matter anymore."

Brow burrowing further, Sam looked down at the pages once more, the fleeting thought in his mind slipping free and out of his lips. "I think I know why Billie wants you dead so much."

"Oh, well, thank you, Sam." The words dripped with sarcasm, thick like oil.

"Dean, when I went to Death's place, the Empty was there. They were killing reapers, trying to call out to Death. To Billie. And they had Chuck's death book. _This_ book." He tapped the book and leaned forward, toward his brother. "The Empty told me that only Billie can read it."

"Well, I've got news for you, Sammy. The Emtpy lied. Shocker, I know."

"This book is blank. Cas and I, we checked. Why do you think I never brought it up with you? We tried spell after spell and we thought that maybe, somehow we could make the pages readable. But they're just blank, Dean." Sam nodded in thought, his fingers tapping absently against the book. "She's said so herself, Dean. No one can read the books. Unless she gives them permission…"

"You mean like back when Michael was all…" Dean motioned his head, his face turning up in disgust at the memory. "You know, up in my head, and Billie gave me my book, so I could make the Ma'lak box?"

Sam looked down at the book once more, the wheels turning around in his head, going over and over the information again. "Yeah…"

"So what you're saying is, Billie gave me permission to read my own book, and what? Accidentally forget to switch it off? So now I can read Chuck's book too."

"I don't think it works like that, Dean."

"Then what?"

Raising his gaze to meet Dean's, Sam considered his brother. "What if she was lying?"

"Which time?"

"When she said about needing permission. What if she was just covering up what she already knew? When she gave you that book, _your_ book. What if it was a test?"

"A test for what? To see how willing I was to lock myself in a box and save the world?"

"To see if you could read it."

"Sam, that's ridiculous."

"She's Death, Dean. She said it herself, when she became Death, she inherited his knowledge. If she knew about Chuck, knew about Jack… then who knows what else she knows. Maybe that's why she's been riding us so hard, why she's been so desperate to get control and take you off the board. If you can read the books, that makes you a threat."

"Of all the things that make me a threat, you gotta pick reading?" Dean snorted and looked away, his shoulders falling. His tongue snaked out across his bottom lip, eyes closing as he shook his head and let out a breath before finally looking back to Sam with tension still lining his jaw. "Say you're right. Say for some reason, I can read this when no one else can. Why? Why me?"

"I don't know, Dean. I mean… you killed Death - the old Death. Maybe you're destined to kill Billie too."

"Sam…"

"This means something, Dean," Sam pleaded, closing the book and putting it down on the table, placing his hand on top of the cover. "This is God's death book, and you can read it. _The God_. And you heard Billie. Everyone has a book. What if she does too?"

-6-6-6-

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...


End file.
